For homeowners, buyers & flippers
Fix-it report
$49A detailed written repair report with cost ranges and priority levels. Trade uncertainty for a practical starting point.
Understand the work. Plan the budget. Pick your next move.
A sharper perspective on your property
Your house. Roasted.
Your repairs. Ranked.
Turn a phone walkthrough into a straight-talking expert review. Get the laughs on camera—and the repair priorities and cost ranges in writing.
For homeowners, buyers, flippers, and sellers.
The Fix Roast principle
Every jab comes with a next step.
Repair cost rangesClear prioritiesWritten plan
Our promises,
not a sales pitch.
Licensed contractor / inspector perspective
Cost ranges, not false precision
Roast the house. Never the people.
From walkthrough to work plan
Less guesswork.
More useful answers.
That questionable patch, tired bathroom, or ambitious DIY job deserves more than a reaction. It deserves a practical plan for what to tackle next.
The video gets your attention.
The written report helps you make decisions.
01
Walk us through it
Upload a phone walkthrough of the property. Show the rooms, visible concerns, and repairs you’re considering.
02
Get the honest take
A licensed contractor or inspector reviews what’s visible, with blunt commentary focused on construction—not residents, neighborhoods, or schools.
03
Know what comes next
Your written report pairs identified repairs with cost ranges and priority levels, so you can separate urgent work from projects that can wait.
A video review covers what your footage reveals. It does not replace an on-site inspection, uncover hidden defects, or provide a binding contractor quote.
Choose your perspective
Small price. Clearer priorities.
Start with your repair plan, or take a closer look before you list.
For sellers
Pre-listing roast
$299An honest look at the property before it hits the market, with a repair-focused perspective to help inform your preparation.
For agents: a white-label tier is available by arrangement.
Available services & booking
Keep the jokes on the drywall
Give your house a reality check.
A little candor now. A more considered repair plan next.